My thoughts…my life…Japan
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.
It comes…it just comes. And when it does, you can’t do anything but endure whatever feelings it has in store for you on that particular day.
It’s a feeling so heavy that if you don’t keep yourself busy, you will wallow in self regret.
It’s a feeling so strong that it has the power to make you doubt your self-worth. In simple terms, it can make you feel worthless.
It’s a feeling so overwhelming that there are days when you want to just sleep so you won’t end up being insanely worried about nothing.
It’s a feeling that can be so scary because when it comes, you become afraid of an irrational impending doom that does not exist at all.
It’s a feeling that can drive you crazy because it has this uncanny ability to make your mind rewind certain events over and over again.
Ideally, it’s best to just ignore it. Some people do this by burying themselves with tons of work so their minds will be so occupied. Because when the mind is occupied, it is less difficult to ignore the attack.
Sadly though, most of the time, you just can’t deny the fact that it’s there. When it comes, it stays. And however hard you try to ignore and forget its existence, it’s there…lurking like your shadow.
It’s funny how some people perceive sadness as depression. We see it on social media: people ranting about how depressed they are when in truth, they are merely sad. Depressed people usually don’t go around telling everybody they are depressed. Most of the time, these people are so good at hiding it that no one will ever suspect that they are suffering.
I view depression as a very serious matter.
It is when you see everything as gloomy and bleak. It’s like watching a black and white movie of yourself because you can’t seem to see the world for how it is supposed to be: colorful.
It is crying over small things and bawling over not-so-big ones. Or simply crying for no reason at all.
It is being so happy one moment and very lonely the next. Depression is very unpredictable that when it comes, you will always be caught barefooted.
It’s when you feel down all the time. Not the sad kind of down feeling. It’s the feeling of being useless, unimportant and insignificant.
It’s when you feel that you don’t want to do anything anymore. Being productive is next to impossible.
It’s when there seems to be no way out and the pain is just so unbearable. You feel hopeless, so the thought of just ending your life seems like a sweet escape.
It’s when emotional pain seems to be a part of your everyday life already to the point that physical pain no longer exist. Or if it still does, you inflict this physical pain upon yourself. It has become something that brings comfort because it calms the monster that’s inside of you.
It is when you know you need help but can’t find the words to tell people what kind of help you need for fear of being labelled insane.
It’s when you know you are dying inside and there seems to be nothing you can do about it.
If you experience any of these, know that there are people out there who are willing to help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! This may sound cliche but hey, it’s the truth.
There is always someone who is willing to be there for you…a friend, a family member, a relative, a loved one, or even a help line that you can call. Do always remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
As for those lucky ones who don’t experience being depressed, be a kind human being and help out. Sometimes, depressed people just need someone to listen. Be that friend. Be that life-saver.
The Chic Anna!