Tag Archives: thoughts

Goodbye 2023

The year 2023 brought me more tears than laughters. It had been a dark journey but through God‘s unending grace, I was able to carry on.

The previous year taught me so many life learnings.

I have learned in a hard way…

…that the only time you will know the people who truly care is during your darkest times…never in good times.

…that no matter how much you love a person, but if they don’t love you as much as you do, it’s never going to work out.

…that sometimes, the people you least expected to care are the ones who will be there to willingly lend their shoulders for you to cry on.

…that usually, especially when you are going through so much, hugs are more helpful than words.

…the real difference between friends and acquaintances.

…to let go of people and circumstances that constantly give me pain and heartaches, and now I no longer care.

…that prayers do matter.

…that when things are beyond your control, you only have God to depend on.

When Anxiety Attacks…

It comes…it just comes. And when it does, you can’t do anything but endure whatever feelings it has in store for you on that particular day.

It’s a feeling so heavy that if you don’t keep yourself busy, you will wallow in self regret. 

It’s a feeling so strong that it has the power to make you doubt your self-worth. In simple terms, it can make you feel worthless. 

It’s a feeling so overwhelming that there are days when you want to just sleep so you won’t end up being insanely worried about nothing.

It’s a feeling that can be so scary because when it comes, you become afraid of an irrational impending doom that does not exist at all.

It’s a feeling that can drive you crazy because it has this uncanny ability to make your mind rewind certain events over and over again.

Ideally, it’s best to just ignore it. Some people do this by burying themselves with tons of work so their minds will be so occupied. Because when the mind is occupied, it is less difficult to ignore the attack.

Sadly though, most of the time, you just can’t deny the fact that it’s there. When it comes, it stays. And however hard you try to ignore and forget its existence, it’s there…lurking like your shadow. 

The Past Has Passed

“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance. The cloud clears as you enter it. I have learned this, but like everyone, I learned it late.” ~Beryl Markham

My take on this quote:

Always look back for all the lessons learned. But never go back. You left for a reason. Going back is committing the same mistakes. Yes…like everyone, you learned it late. And now that you’re older, you wish you could turn back time to undo what you have done and reverse all those decisions made. Such is life.