Tag Archives: life

On Raising Teens

I have learned that raising teenagers, especially teenage boys, is the most difficult job in the world. They are the craziest, moodiest, most unpredictable, most irritable, most hormonally-imbalanced creatures of God.

One moment they are happy and sweet. Then the next minute they are sulky and angry.

When he was around 15, my son was having his tantrums, and he was going berserk. I could hear stuff being thrown in his room while groaning like Godzilla. Instead of being angry and telling him to stop (because he wouldn’t, believe me), I gave him his Iphone while he was throwing things around. He threw it without even looking at it, then stopped when he realized what he had just done. I left him gawking like an idiot. An hour later, he went out of his room. He went straight to the kitchen looking for something to eat, then sat with me on the sofa eating some chips like nothing happened.

Before, I would have yelled at him when he went crazy like that. But then, he would be yelling back, and we would end up fighting and not speaking to each other for days. So, yes, I can say that I have learned my lesson.

My daughter wasn’t like that. Well, she had her share of crazy days, but she wasn’t as insane as her brother. She would just lock herself up in her room and she would be giving us all the silent treatment…you know, talk to her and it’s like nobody’s there.

The teenage years are a phase. I learned about this when I was taking classes in Education. But at that time, my kids were still too young. I had to experience it myself. I had to cry buckets before I learned my lesson.

My daughter is an adult now and she’s passed that stage already. My son…he’s only a few months short of being an adult. He is less crazy than when he was in his mid-teen years. But he is still stubborn, hard-headed, very difficult to wake up, and doesn’t usually listen to reasons. But he now learns from his mistakes. And I realized that the less angry I get, the more he opens up to me about everything.

Do I love them less when they are crazy? Of course not, although there were days when I wished I could put them back in my tummy.

It is a phase…it is a life stage. I learned the hard way not to take it too seriously, so I won’t end up as crazy.

When Anxiety Attacks…

It comes…it just comes. And when it does, you can’t do anything but endure whatever feelings it has in store for you on that particular day.

It’s a feeling so heavy that if you don’t keep yourself busy, you will wallow in self regret. 

It’s a feeling so strong that it has the power to make you doubt your self-worth. In simple terms, it can make you feel worthless. 

It’s a feeling so overwhelming that there are days when you want to just sleep so you won’t end up being insanely worried about nothing.

It’s a feeling that can be so scary because when it comes, you become afraid of an irrational impending doom that does not exist at all.

It’s a feeling that can drive you crazy because it has this uncanny ability to make your mind rewind certain events over and over again.

Ideally, it’s best to just ignore it. Some people do this by burying themselves with tons of work so their minds will be so occupied. Because when the mind is occupied, it is less difficult to ignore the attack.

Sadly though, most of the time, you just can’t deny the fact that it’s there. When it comes, it stays. And however hard you try to ignore and forget its existence, it’s there…lurking like your shadow. 

The Past Has Passed

“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance. The cloud clears as you enter it. I have learned this, but like everyone, I learned it late.” ~Beryl Markham

My take on this quote:

Always look back for all the lessons learned. But never go back. You left for a reason. Going back is committing the same mistakes. Yes…like everyone, you learned it late. And now that you’re older, you wish you could turn back time to undo what you have done and reverse all those decisions made. Such is life.