Featured

Goodbye 2023

The year 2023 brought me more tears than laughters. It had been a dark journey but through God‘s unending grace, I was able to carry on.

The previous year taught me so many life learnings.

I have learned in a hard way…

…that the only time you will know the people who truly care is during your darkest times…never in good times.

…that no matter how much you love a person, but if they don’t love you as much as you do, it’s never going to work out.

…that sometimes, the people you least expected to care are the ones who will be there to willingly lend their shoulders for you to cry on.

…that usually, especially when you are going through so much, hugs are more helpful than words.

…the real difference between friends and acquaintances.

…to let go of people and circumstances that constantly give me pain and heartaches, and now I no longer care.

…that prayers do matter.

…that when things are beyond your control, you only have God to depend on.

Random Thoughts #11

I now see how the brain makes us forget good memories little by little.

First, it makes us contemplate on the pains and heartaches. After which, it makes us realize that there are more bad memories than good ones…that there are more lies than truths.

Until finally, it comes to that point when we only think about how humiliating, hurtful, deceitful, and insane those moments were.

Then we wake up one day…remembering only bits and pieces of the good, and all we can think about is how painful and agonizing that life was.

We cry sad tears by just remembering, and so we choose to just forget.

When Anxiety Attacks…

It comes…it just comes. And when it does, you can’t do anything but endure whatever feelings it has in store for you on that particular day.

It’s a feeling so heavy that if you don’t keep yourself busy, you will wallow in self regret. 

It’s a feeling so strong that it has the power to make you doubt your self-worth. In simple terms, it can make you feel worthless. 

It’s a feeling so overwhelming that there are days when you want to just sleep so you won’t end up being insanely worried about nothing.

It’s a feeling that can be so scary because when it comes, you become afraid of an irrational impending doom that does not exist at all.

It’s a feeling that can drive you crazy because it has this uncanny ability to make your mind rewind certain events over and over again.

Ideally, it’s best to just ignore it. Some people do this by burying themselves with tons of work so their minds will be so occupied. Because when the mind is occupied, it is less difficult to ignore the attack.

Sadly though, most of the time, you just can’t deny the fact that it’s there. When it comes, it stays. And however hard you try to ignore and forget its existence, it’s there…lurking like your shadow.